Content Audit – copy changes

caycefischer commented 6 years ago

URL: https://cdsvacpoc.azurewebsites.net/

Landing page

"You"/"Me" point of view. Buttons and page elements that use "me" language, like "find benefits for me" work well in experiences where the user has ownership over the environment - like they have a profile, or something. Mixing directions that refer to the user as "you" and then commands that use "me" is a little confusing—I would stick to one or the other. Recommending "you". So, the green button would become "Find benefits for you".
Match title language to CTA language. The title uses "Discover", and the button uses "Find". Consistency between CTA and body copy is helpful for comprehension and consistency. Recommending replace "Discover" with "Find". Less flashy, but more to the point.
For Beta, you'll want to update the text of the beta flag at the top. Here's what we used on IRCC: This is a new service, help us improve by [sending your feedback].

Guided Experience, page 1

Since "My selection" is empty on this first page, I would remove that element and introduce it only when it's useful (page 2 and onward)
Was there a decision to go with imperative statements for these questions, instead of posing them as questions? For example, "Select who will be receiving benefits" versus "Who will be receiving benefits?". I'd recommend the latter, it's friendlier and asks a question instead of demanding an answer.

Guided Experience, page 2

Along the same lines as above, punctuation in these question titles is a little strange. When not rephrasing in question form (which doesn't work on this page, for example) I would cut the period from the end. Possibly replace with : but leaving it blank is good.

Guided Experience, page 3

The only advice I have here is whether "Released" is the right word? I'm sure you know what the own-language is for this. I'm wondering if adding "retired" in there is helpful?

Guided Experience, page 4

"Is there a service-related health issue?" is a bit of a strangely-formed question. Did you try being more direct, like "Do they have a service-related health issue?".
It would also be helpful here to link out to a full list of health issues, if one exists! The examples are great though 👍

Guided Experience, page 5

Title here can again be simpler and less imperative. "What kind of benefits do you want to see?"
It's also helpful with checkboxes (especially when they appear after many screens of radio buttons) to call out explicitly that users may select more than one box. A little line of text below the question title that say "Select all that apply" or similar.
Button title case - use sentence case like you do on the front page, and elsewhere. This is becoming a CDS-wide pattern. So, "Show Results" becomes "Show results"

Results page

"4 benefits match your filters" – this might be totally fine, but users going through the guided experience never encounter the concept of "filtering" until this page, where their answers to the questions are revealed as being filter options. That could be confusing, worth testing.
Sentence case on options in select menus - "Most popular", "Sort by", etc
under Filter benefits, the first section "My selection" is not very descriptive. Could replace with something like "Benefit recipient" or even something closer to the initial question, like "Who will receive benefits" though that is longer.
"Veteran Service status" - is this a term of art or jargon? Can it be simplified to "Service status" ?
"Is there a service-related health issue?" - match what the question in the guided experience is changed to (see above)
Design note - the type contrast/hierarchy between "Filter by category" and "Select all that apply" is pretty low... try italicizing or dropping the type size for the secondary line
What does "Reset (1)" mean? Reset means clear filters, but what is the (1) for? Unclear. I'd suggest renaming this to "Clear filters" in general, it's much more direct.
Related to point 1 for this page, above – hitting the results page from a search done on the landing page, there's no mention of my search - just "filters" - but I didn't use any filters and have no context. This is a good point in favour of replacing the word "filter" in the title with "Search".

Contact component

Sentence case all the things 🙌 "Contact us"
copyedit: "In-person help is available at all VAC offices."
"local time" - might be clearer to say "across canada" or "in your time zone"?
I think you should be labelling the phone number and email header/links... "Email:" , "Phone: ". For accessibility/screen-reading, and general comprehension

Saved Benefits empty state

Sentence case "Saved benefits" ;)
In this empty state it'd be great to explain what saved benefits are, and why they're useful. Something like "You can save benefits from the benefits list to review them later. Select "Save for later" on any benefit and it will be saved on this page."

Map page

I think the type hierarchy on the map sidebar of locations needs some work. It all kind of bleeds together. Stronger bolding/bigger size differences between provincial header, office name, and address
Same suggestion I made above on the contact module - labeling the phone number would be helpful here. Or, even better—though it becomes a different component—put the phone number after the call time instructions.

caycefischer commented 5 years ago

For the "cancel" text on searches that yield no results - I'd like to see a "try again" framing for that. Super simple. Not sure where that is in Airtable though, but you can update the Zeplin mockups.

sastels commented 5 years ago

@smcmurtry @brdunfield @SupeDeDupe I think we've dealt with all these issues?

SupeDeDupe commented 5 years ago

Some of the things these comments address no longer exist in the app. I think these are the only pieces that do still exist and may have not been addressed.