Julia Buffinton's feedback on Idea #2

[jab684]

Hi Jenni!

Your idea is: AI-driven tool that can do the research on players/teams for you so you can make better-informed decisions for fantasy sports leagues.

Definitely keep:

• Your fun title and section headings! Share some of that creativity with me?
• Use of citations - I'm more compelled to take you seriously with facts
• Use of “data science-y” terms (thanks for the feedback on mine!)

Could be cut:

• As I said, I really like your use of citations but they may be over-used in the beginning. I am feeling bogged down in the facts, and missing the “so what?” I suggest re-arranging or removing a few to clarify the problem at hand for the individual.
• Maybe one or two drawbacks/areas of improvement for Fandemonium? You already mention the few sports it supports in earlier paragraphs so they may not need to mentioned again.

Could be rearranged:

• The final paragraph. As I said above, I appreciate you being upfront about the shortcomings but let’s end on a positive note! (So maybe re-phrase as a “we expect to expand to…” instead of "we currently don't....")

Could be added:

• What is the Fandemonium platform? You mentioned “pocket” so I assume phone app, but I could also see it being a website or even standalone computer app.
• Statistics in the final paragraph for winning increase.
• Does it cost anything? You note it “pays for itself” so I assume there's a small fee!

Additional comments/suggestions:

• love this and your sports-themed ideas!
• Who is your audience? I am a non-fantasy sports user, although I have a basic understanding, so it depends on who your audience is whether you want to make it more accessible to others who don't have the same grasp on fantasy sports as you do!
• What are the implications of this for fantasy leagues? It gives someone a huge advantage compared to other members who don't have the resources so I could see how it could create some tension among groups. (Just a thought. Not sure if it needs to be addressed.)

Overall I thought this was really cool - I can see the need for saving people time in doing all the research to put together the most competitive fantasy team and earn some $$!

[jmercado14]

Hey Julia,

Thanks for the feedback! I have added a bit and rearranged the first paragraph to better introduce the concept of daily fantasy leagues. I also pulled out a couple of data points to hopefully be a little less bogged-down in numbers. I clarified the type of app and included both the increase in win % and cash % (though I'm still using dummy variables - feels weird to plug in totally fake numbers). Finally, I rephrased the last sentence to end on a more hopeful note :)

Thanks!