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w201rdada / portfolio-sfswift

portfolio-sfswift created by GitHub Classroom
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Important topic, clarify client #5

Open brooksambrose opened 7 years ago

brooksambrose commented 7 years ago

As it stands this is "too academic". The problem is not academic, just the style in which you have written it. To make this more practical, concrete, and realistic, you should ask yourself who would support this research and utilize its results. Pick a real university, or a non-profit organization, to support and implement your work. Then rewrite the intro from their perspective. Your intro is pitched at a general reader, but it should be pitched at your client.

Additionally, there is plenty of research on this topic, so scope out a few recent articles to start deepening your knowledge. I think it's a great idea and I'd love to help you out with it!

sfswift commented 6 years ago

Thanks for the feedback. Funny you should say it's too academic - I actually wrote it with that in mind. A friend and I want to develop this idea as one piece of a publication of hers.