Gist:
Utilize the information about professional / continuing education programs from students to make decisions about the programs offered.
What should definitely be kept:
What you have is a good starting point.
What could be cut that isn’t so important:
I can't think of anything.
What could be rearranged to flow better:
The order made logical sense.
What could be added to strengthen the argument:
I think your argument could be strengthened by providing more information about the survey:
What specific data is being surveyed?
Are the surveys anonymous? I see that you plan to link users to survey responses. Students may be less candid if the surveys are not anonymous.
How does the school get job outcome information? Does the school follow up with the students later on?
How will you deal with gaps in survey data?
How will you compare programs with the overall sector? Is this data from other schools, or similar programs offered by the school?
In the conclusion, you might mention that improving the programs based on the survey data will be a win-win: students will have better outcomes, and the school will more likely have better enrollment / be more competitive with other instructional institutions.
Thanks for the feedback! You point out some really good questions that will help to make my proposal more clear and I think give it some better direction as well.
Gist: Utilize the information about professional / continuing education programs from students to make decisions about the programs offered.
What should definitely be kept: What you have is a good starting point.
What could be cut that isn’t so important: I can't think of anything.
What could be rearranged to flow better: The order made logical sense.
What could be added to strengthen the argument: I think your argument could be strengthened by providing more information about the survey:
How will you compare programs with the overall sector? Is this data from other schools, or similar programs offered by the school?
In the conclusion, you might mention that improving the programs based on the survey data will be a win-win: students will have better outcomes, and the school will more likely have better enrollment / be more competitive with other instructional institutions.