The opening summary mentions Lexie is an "older adult" and in the main body text of her persona it says she has "former workmates" that participate in her football app. However, the summary reads as if she still works (and so does the video) as in the following statement:
Using color alone to highlight text and to indicate areas in a chart also present barriers for Lexie but fortunately her work colleagues have learned ways for using other visual markers in addition to color.
Overall, the summary doesn't feel like a cohesive paragraph. The examples seem to be clips of other sentences rather than items that relate to each other and clearly explain how they are impacted by colorblindness. I'm actually not sure what this summary is trying to do, however; is it trying to rehash all the content or just introduce the general topic?
Assuming the latter (just introduce the topic for folks as they keep reading), here's a possible proposed edit:
Lexie is a retiree who loves online shopping and playing fantasy football with friends. Lexie cannot see all colors equally well, a condition often referred to as "colorblindness". Websites and apps can create barriers for Lexie when they present information only using color. For example, if shopping sites only show clothing colors without also having text descriptions, she often isn't confident in what's she's ordering. Fortunately she's found many designs that work for her, like her favorite fantasy football app which uses symbols and text to show key information, not solely colored jerseys and colored icons.
The opening summary mentions Lexie is an "older adult" and in the main body text of her persona it says she has "former workmates" that participate in her football app. However, the summary reads as if she still works (and so does the video) as in the following statement:
Overall, the summary doesn't feel like a cohesive paragraph. The examples seem to be clips of other sentences rather than items that relate to each other and clearly explain how they are impacted by colorblindness. I'm actually not sure what this summary is trying to do, however; is it trying to rehash all the content or just introduce the general topic?
Assuming the latter (just introduce the topic for folks as they keep reading), here's a possible proposed edit: