The example texts in on the “keep text succinct” page are not equivalent:
Calgary will have a lot of snow and hail this weekend. Try not to drive. If you must drive:
Use the rules for driving in winter to keep safe.
Before you leave, check what roads are safe at the Traveler’s Information web site.
vs.
DOTD Issues Winter Weather Travel Advisory for Calgary. With the possibility of snow and rain in the forecast throughout the holiday weekend, the Department of Transportation and Development (DOTD) announced that department staff is prepared to deal with winter weather. Maintenance forces will be on standby to apply sand and salt over any affected bridges and roadways, to remove fallen trees from the roadway, and to close any roads as needed. Interim Secretary Jane Doe urges motorists to take the threat of winter weather seriously. “In the event of adverse weather conditions, the department will strive to maintain access to highways and interstates; however, we encourage the motoring public to avoid traveling during snow and ice, if at all possible,” said Doe.
It misses critical information, for example that it is an official DOTD advisory. That there are measures to improve road safety. The inclusion of a personal message might also be useful, generally tho can be left out in this example.
Also include the website part in the long-winded description. (But generally, it might be good to not rely on online information during a snow storm that might damage power lines or disrupts internet connections.)
(Contributing this change was only possible due to my supporters.)
The example texts in on the “keep text succinct” page are not equivalent:
vs.
It misses critical information, for example that it is an official DOTD advisory. That there are measures to improve road safety. The inclusion of a personal message might also be useful, generally tho can be left out in this example.
Also include the website part in the long-winded description. (But generally, it might be good to not rely on online information during a snow storm that might damage power lines or disrupts internet connections.)
(Contributing this change was only possible due to my supporters.)