Open jameswhite opened 6 years ago
Come in so jaded your peers are like "this person is great", then ship nothing and ingratiate yourself to management.
The Yak Shave plus Quality Goals
Person 1: Oh, I started working on that, but looking into it I found this other problem. It then led to another investigation where found our libraries were out of date. To fix that, I had to upgrade the OS. I can't upgrade the OS until later this year, so this fix is on hold. Person 2: Do we need new libraries and OS to make this change? Person 1: No, but if we don't take any pride in our work it will all be shit. You don't want a mountain of tech debt do you?
Idealogical Purity
Person 1: This fix requires a foundational change to our domain model and how we build our software. Person 2: Couldn't we just add a new field to that table in the DB? Person 1: Sure, you think that will work now, but will it work forever? We need a whole new service to enable the CRUD operations of this field, and with that, an extensive integration with our observability tooling and security sign off. So, I estimate this taking about 4 months minimum. Person 2: But we literally could just add a field to the table. Person 1: You just don't get this, do you?
RIIR
Every modification of software spawns a discussion of how we must Rewrite It In Rust (RiiR) due to the safety and awesomeness that is our lord and savior Rust. Thus to make any change, you must find a non-believer.
You "accidentally" spilled Coffee/Soda/Water all over your desk and keyboard so you're computer isn't really functional today. You're letting it air out and dry off and hoping it work tomorrow.
For extended usage, it doesn't work tomorrow and you have to order new parts.
You say "Almost done, just need to write some tests" at every standup. You writes minimal tests that pass by accident. Code ships but gets reverted.
We've all got co-workers that avoid work. Hell, sometimes we avoid work. Append comments to this issue with the kinds of techniques people use to get out of work and we'll give them all names like "the Jeff Bunch Maneuver" or whatever and put up a pages site.
warning: These comments may trigger some PTSD
Cc: @rick