Use StatefulSet status instead of List Pod by selector labels

[kobzonega]

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Pull request type

Please check the type of change your PR introduces:

• [x] Bugfix
• [ ] Feature
• [ ] Code style update (formatting, renaming)
• [ ] Refactoring (no functional changes, no api changes)
• [ ] Build related changes
• [ ] Documentation content changes
• [ ] Other (please describe):

What is the current behavior?

After changes from PR #172 controllers are waiting for recreating pods with new label ydb.tech/statefulset-name. WIth strategyUpdate: OnDelete policy usage it affect controllers by infinite loop for pods create by old generation of StatefulSet.

2024-07-01T09:58:40Z DEBUG events Waiting for number of running pods to match expected: 0 != 1 {"type": "Normal", "object": {"kind":"Database","namespace":"ydb-dev","name":"example-1","uid":"41243125-668b-4706-994d-6d5092f8df8f","apiVersion":"ydb.tech/v1alpha1","resourceVersion":"83370878"}, "reason": "Provisioning"}

What is the new behavior?

• use StatefulSet status instead of List Pod by labels inside waitForStatefulSetToScale
• fix missing ydb.tech/remote-cluster label in StatefulSet builder for Nodeset objects

Other information