split into two sentences (permission and condition)

tieguy commented 8 years ago

have permission to -> may: simpler, clearer, consistent with the rest of the license provided that -> on condition that: avoid the Jacobsen v. Katzer problem by being explicit that this is a condition (see also http://www.adamsdrafting.com/provided-that/, Manual of Style for Contract Drafting 13.547).

tieguy commented 8 years ago

@richardfontana any thoughts on this? @zooko ping/FYI.

tieguy commented 8 years ago

Note the second commit (GitHub doesn't make this as obvious as it could be):

After attempting to further parse this One Big Sentence today, I realized it should really be broken up into two sentences to improve readability. Here is a first attempt at such a revision.

Key q: how to refer to the first sentence in the second? I went with "this additional permission", but one could say:

"This permission to delay compliance is..." very precise, but perhaps unnecessarily wordy (since no other permission could plausibly be referred to by "this additional permission").
"This Exception is": a little recursive?

zooko / tgppl

split into two sentences (permission and condition) #7